Same parents, but different responses Introvert vs Extrovert; Shy vs Loud, Smart vs Slow; etc. WHAT DO YOU DO When as parents you don't like your child's basic temperament? OH some may never admit it but sometimes our children ARE a disappointment i.e. (the athletic parent that has an uncoordinated kid ) - ( wanted Einstein & got a misfit ) EVER NOTICE how some kids are so likable, while others are so hard to like? Let's face it... some kids are easier to love then others! BUT IF WE AS PARENTS SHOW FAVORITISM TO ONE OVER ANOTHER WE CAN DAMAGE THAT CHILD FOR LIFETIME! If we are not careful, we can harbor a hidden hatred for one of our own offspring.
Oh that we can learn to love like God did... He loved us while we were unlovable!
- Rom 5: 8 "But
God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while
we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Acts 10: 34 "Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:" >>> HE LOVES US!
---- Someone called this week and paid our church the
greatest compliment...
- "Pastor, your church is friendly to sinners. They welcome people warmly. A sinner can feel like he is wanted in your church"
There may be many things we don't get
right... but we must be like him! SEEK & SAVE!
They called him a "friend of sinners" ==== God
so loved!
"The worth of your kids is not dependent on the characteristics that separate them" ...JD
PERHAPS IS WISE TO VENT THESE FEELINGS
TO A SPOUSE OR CLOSE FRIEND... BUT ABOVE ALL.... DETERMINE
TO LOVE THAT CHILD COME WHAT MAY!
Find the GOOD and cultivate it! - Give time for God to
make something beautiful!
It may be humorous to think about, but that is how you deal with devils also!
Take charge of a strong willed child in the early
years of his life. Not by harshness & screaming, but
by relationship & confident steady leadership!
PERHAPS Peter's instruction to Pastor's would be helpful
here:
- I Pet 5: 2 "Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; 3 Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock. 4 And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away."
-- If you are timid & insecure about your role
as a leader, your child will fill in the gap!
QUOTE: ( Parenting Advice - Page 89 ) - You can overlook
childhood silliness and immaturity. BUT YOU CAN NOT
AFFORD TO OVERLOOK WILLFUL TRANSGRESSION &
DISRESPECT!
The tougher the temperament the more important it is
to "shape his will". WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT
ABUSE... (but a spanking is sometimes in order)
- Prov 22: 15 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." - (these type verses make our society tremble)
Abuse is NEVER proper or in order! As a matter
of fact, it will be greatly judged of God!(remember the
millstone) --- But I am afraid that leaving a child to
"whatever he wants" will be also! A child's
will must be brought into subjection early in life
because after 5 its very hard!
REASON: Hardening of the Larynx or "sound
drop out" -- JD
A child easily learns any language he is exposed to when
young. The larynx assumes the positions needed to make
those sounds and then hardens. It makes it difficult
later in life!
POINT = There is a time in that child's life
when (linguistically) anything is possible!...a window
of opportunity as it were... SO IT IS WITH A CHILD'S
ATTITUDE TOWARD PARENTAL AUTHORITY!
Between late infancy and toddlerhood is when parental
respect and awe can be instilled! If that child's early
reach for power is successful, he may never give it up!
And it will cripple him through out his life because he
won't submit to any authority! -- even God!
>> Raising a compliant child also
has it's hazards <<
- EX: The prodigal's brother was a
"compliant" temperament
They tend to hold in their feelings can become bitter etc...
Being able to laugh is the drink that will help you swallow the pressure of parenthood!
| JD = A Woman that called Focus on the Family said she was on the phone when she realized her 3 yr old daughter and 5 month old son were missing. She found them playing in the bedroom. She said: "I told you not to carry him!" and the daughter replied "I didn't mom, I rolled him!" (ha ha!) |
My wife was teaching my 5 yr old daughter how to fold laundry, and was telling her about how she would someday be grown up and be the mom. She told her all the things she would do like the dishes, laundry, diapers etc. Emily said "Mom, I think it would be better if I just stayed a kid" - TRUER WORDS NEVER SPOKEN! (out of the mouth of babes and sucklings)
BUT.... THE TRUTH IS, WE CAN'T STAY KIDS... WE MUST GROW UP... And when we grow up we need to have a relationship with God that will sustain us!
Which brings us to probably the most awesome responsibility of parenthood:
MOM & DAD =
You need to provide your kids an unshakable faith in
Jesus! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FUNCTION OF PARENTHOOD!
- Prov 22: 6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
If saving our kids is important, then
is should begin as soon as they comprehend! Remember
Peter's advice to the pastors... "being an example
to the flock"
CHILDREN SHOULD SEE MOM & DAD ON THEIR KNEES AND IN
CHURCH
*** Don't make the mistake of loving your kids w/o
creating a good example for them to follow! ***
What you do will be remembered much longer then what you
say!
We are instructed to bring up our kids
in the "nurture & admonition of the
Lord"
MOM & DAD: Don't just talk the talk - you must
walk the walk! The results can be a blessing!
- II Tim 1: 5 "When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. 6 Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands. 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
EACH GENERATION HAS AN OBLIGATION TO
THE NEXT TO SHARE TRUTH!
- Deut 6: 6 "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. --- ( JUST SUNDAY GO TO MEETIN WON'T CUT IT! )--- 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."
THIS VERSE IS CRITICAL TO ALL PARENTS
ON THIS MOTHER'S DAY (and any day)!
References to faith is not enough... our relationship
with God should be woven in the fabric of our lives! Our
children will notice every inconsistent point about our
faith.
IF YOUR ONLY 1/2 CONVINCED, THEY WILL BE TOO!
>>> One last bit of
advice <<<
Nowhere in the Bible does it tell us to skip the
unpleasant verses with our kids...(i.e.)
- "The wages of sin
is still death..." - and our kids
have a right to know that. Without going
overboard teach your kids : there are 116 verses:
"Fear the Lord"
WE NEED TO TEACH DIVINE ACCOUNTABILITY TO OUR CHILDREN.
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